My Energy Doesn't Want Me to Write

My weekdays are heavily structured, which I welcome because my calendar keeps me moving towards my goals rather than time arriving and me aimlessly wondering what I’m supposed to be doing within it. Within my week, I schedule time to write and I specify what I should accomplish, whether it’s draft two of an article, a blog, social media posts, etc.

As I write this blog post now, I’m supposed to be working on finishing draft one of an article, but my brain doesn’t want me to do so.

I’m sure you can relate, even if you’re not a writer. Everyone has this problem no matter what it is that they’re working towards. It’s common to face moments where you have things you have to do and your energy does not want to do them at all. Then the choice presents itself—schedule it for later and live with that feeling of disappointment within yourself while you watch cat videos on YouTube or push through and get something done.

While I’m one to advocate listening to your energy and doing what it wants, in situations where it involves moving your life forward, I vote for option two.

Why? Why can’t I just find a new video of Maru squeezing into a tiny box and enjoy that right now? What’s wrong with that? 

Because it’s feeding the pattern that keeps me comfortable rather than helping me grow into who I want to be.

For example, let’s go back 15-20 years ago when my PTSD ruled much of my life. Had I skipped my Movement for Actors class and stayed in the comfort zone of my bean bag chair in my apartment at college, I would have missed out on discovering how yoga changes my state of being and calms my mind. Had I stayed at home and not gone to that interview in New York City, I would never have had the opportunity to receive a massage in Sweden, which led to me becoming a massage therapist and ultimately an acupuncturist. Had I listened to my energy, which was telling me to stay comfortable in my discomfort because it felt safe and protective even though it was depressing, I would not have the amazing opportunities available to me now, and more importantly, I would never have found the happiness within myself.

And because I don’t over schedule myself, when the day is done and I feel awesome that I accomplished what I set out to do, I can spend as much time as I want watching Maru.

While my energy doesn’t like it now, I know it’ll be tremendously grateful later.

PS - This is Penny. She was with me for 10 years and crossed the rainbow bridge in 2012. She used to sleep like this. I often wondered how she breathed.