How It's Going

While reading my Facebook feed, I came across a poster that struck a chord with me.

CREATIVE PROCESS

1. This is awesome

2. This is tricky

3. This is shit

4. I am shit

5. This might be awesome

6. This is awesome

I shared it, explaining that lately I’ve been jumping between 3, 4 and 5 with regards to writing my book. Thankfully, my wonderful family and friends quickly responded that I am never 4 and I am on the way to 6. 

Still, I have a completely new respect for writers, understanding more and more how difficult it is to complete a book and convey a story in a way one hopes a reader will enjoy, be moved and absorb the messages. 

How interesting it is that currently I am on version 4 and that I have been feeling like 4. Version 1 did feel awesome. Version 2 was tricky. Version 3 felt like shit, which led me to write version 4, making me feel awesome until I read it and then felt like 4. 

The good news is 5 and 6 are on the horizon, and despite the lack of confidence I feel at times, I still love writing and I still love this project.

And to answer the #1 question I get - “When is the book coming out?” - when it is a 6. 

Writing About My PTSD

After being asked by two friends on separate occasions how I “did it”, I realized I had a story to share. Writing about my journey with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder has been painful at times but the insights I have gained are incredibly rewarding. I now know my PTSD inside and out, and I am more secure in how I manage it than ever before.

I knew the process would be difficult. It’s not easy writing about the worst thing that has ever happened in your life as well as the struggles that followed. In order to write about the tough stuff, I decided I was going to write about whatever I felt like writing rather than sticking to a rigid, linear plan. I didn’t start at chapter one...I started somewhere in the middle...then I went back to the beginning...then back to the middle...then the end...then I filled in the blanks. The entire book was written by jumping back and forth between different sections.

The beautiful thing is when I chose what I wanted to write in that moment, the words came easily, like they were flowing from my mind down my arms to my hands and onto the keyboard. These moments felt meditative. My body felt relaxed as my hands were quickly typing out the thoughts. Even though the words were coming to me feverishly, the rest of me felt calm and peaceful. Sometimes, I’d be so engrossed in writing that I didn’t realize how much time had gone by. There were many times where even writing about difficult topics became a joy because the words streamed out of me so smoothly. I didn’t always know if what I was writing would fit into the book, and I didn’t always know how it would all come together. As I tackled each piece, eventually everything organically fit together like a puzzle. Not only was the process becoming a joy, but I began to fall in love with the words I was writing.

Even the title came to me easily. While in the car with my husband on the way to a weekend in Connecticut, I suggested coming up with potential book titles to help pass the time. The second I said, “hey, let’s think of titles for my book while we’re driving,”  Peace With Trees came to mind. Immediately, I fell in love with the title. Luckily, my husband simply responded, “that works!”

I am incredibly grateful for Peace With Trees. Not only has it helped me with my PTSD but it also awakened a joy for writing. Once it’s on the bookshelves, I look forward to the next work that flows through me onto the page.

Why I Wrote Peace With Trees

Last spring, on separate occasions, two friends came to me for advice. They had been going through really tough times, including struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder, and wanted to know “how I did it”. Both of these friends have known me for decades and know all about “The Accident”, but as longtime friendships often drift apart and find their way back together again, neither knew the particulars of how I managed to come back from the worst time in my life. They were only familiar with the end result, which is me happily married with a successful acupuncture practice who enjoys traveling and living a healthy lifestyle.

I didn’t know exactly what to tell them at first. How did I do it? As introspective as I’ve always been, I didn’t have an immediate answer, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that maybe I did have a story to tell. Clearly, these two friends felt that by hearing my story they could maybe learn something from me to help themselves. Maybe my journey can bring answers for someone else.

The brilliant thing that has come from writing Peace With Trees is that not only did I answer “how I did it” for myself but it also brought me insight as to what I need to do to continue to do to manage my PTSD in the best way possible. Who knew that by trying to help my friends that it ultimately helped me so much!